


Turned to shadow

by Vaporwavecat1994



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-11-28 14:33:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20968136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vaporwavecat1994/pseuds/Vaporwavecat1994





	1. Chapter 1

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

We were untouchable. Nothing had been able to take us down before. Sure, there'd been some close calls in the past but we'd always made it through. Why... why did today have to be different?

I knelt down beside the body of my older brother. The rest of us had defeated the remaining threat of our attackers but Ronidon had been singled out and took a nasty hit before any of us could get to him. With our enemies taken care of, the others in our team made their way over to us. 

I knew they were there, but I couldn't look at them. I couldn't take my eyes off of my brother. His wound was horrible. Any healing magic I held had already been depleted during the fight. I noticed Oberon kneel beside me. He's our cleric of the group. I don't understand it much, but I suppose he gets his powers from his god. Similar to how my ancestors watch over me, I guess. Oberon is usually who we turn to when our injuries get too bad, but he had a grave look on his face. For a human so serious and who usually jumps on the chance to scold us for being reckless, he said nothing.

Ronidon wasn't moving. It didn't even look like he was breathing. I simply stared at him in shock, my paws holding onto his fur. This couldn't be how it ends... It just couldn't. 

I noticed the sound of Miki fighting back tears. Gods, she was just a kid. She and Roni had gotten so close lately... it wasn't fair. She's a young half-orc, and an orphan at that. We always joked that Roni and Oberon were her new dads. She shouldn't have to lose another parent. 

"Roni! Hey wake up! You gotta snap out of it!" I yelled, tears forming in my eyes. I shook him, but his limp body gave no reaction. I looked around at the others. Oberon placed a hand on my shoulder. He usually didn't show much affection, and frankly I thought I annoyed him too much. But this moment was too important. I saw Miki seeking comfort from our tall pink-haired friend, Neera. The half-elf wasn't one for serious situations, but I saw her somber expression and that she was holding Miki next to her. 

I looked back at Ronidon. His eyes were open, but they'd clouded over. We have mirrored eye colors, one blue and one green. But his looked different now. That smart, sarcastic light they usually had was gone.

We stayed like that for a while. I guess no one knew what to do. Oberon prayed to his god, but he must've used too much power earlier today. Whatever prayers he was saying, I guess it wasn't enough. Neera tried to help too, but no one could seem to make a difference. I felt Roni's body start growing cold. My tears stained my white fur as I held onto him. 

Miki had worn herself out crying, and the others took turns trying to comfort her. They tried to do the same for me, but I couldn't get myself to even acknowledge them. He's my brother... We were the only blood relatives we'd had. Sure, Grandma had raised us, but she's a human and we're Catfolk. We always knew we were different. What could I even tell her? That I lost my brother when we'd promised her to keep each other safe? I couldn't do that to her. 

I was never one for books. Not like Roni anyway. He always had his nose in a book or scroll of some sort, while I was more of an outdoorsy kinda guy. We got on each other's nerves sometimes, but it had all been in good fun. And we'd learn stuff from one another too. That's why the thought came to me. 

"Oberon." I looked towards the blond human. He was sitting with Neera and Miki, obviously giving me some space and comforting the kid. He glanced up in my direction when he heard his name. I hadn't spoken in a while, and my voice was hoarse from the crying. I looked at him with a tiredness in my eyes. 

"What do you know about bringing people back from the dead?"


	2. Chapter 2

I'd never fought with the others this much before now. Sure we'd all play fight and annoy each other, but this was different. I was hurt and angry that they wouldn't go along with my idea. Oberon kept saying how necromancy was a dark magic that shouldn't be toyed with, and Neera pointed out that it was unpredictable at best. But I didn't care. If there was any way to bring my brother back to life, I was going to find it. 

I think Miki was scared of how serious I was. She got up to hug me and get me to calm down, but I couldn't help it and hissed at her. I know I shouldn't have, and I regretted it as soon as it happened. She looked at me with hurt behind those blue eyes of hers and stepped back. No one wanted to fight me, but they didn't know what to do. Oberon glared at me. 

"We will travel onward to town and reserve a room at the inn. Kovarr, use this time to take a breath, and I will return to assist you."

I looked back to Ronidon's body. We would need to do something about him. In a huff, I turned around and sat next to his body again, flicking my tail in annoyance. The others knelt down and said their goodbyes to him before Neera and Oberon ushered Miki away. It was already getting late and we were in too dangerous of an area to stay out here overnight.

I stayed there for about an hour until Oberon eventually returned. It was past sunset, but my white fur made me visible to those even without dark vision. He didn't say much to me.

"We need to burn the body. There are predators and graverobbers in this area." He said in an emotionless tone. I could tell he was upset and just trying not to let it show. I wanted to keep fighting with him. How dare he want to burn my brother? To just turn him to ash and smoke? I clenched my fists. I wanted to yell and tell him to leave. But he was right of course. He usually was. And this way Ronidon's body wouldn't be disturbed. 

After removing any items of use, we arranged the body with rocks around him. There wasn't any talking between us. Roni almost looked like he was sleeping as we worked. My eyes stung but they still wanted to cry. His black and white fur was a mess and it was hard not to look at the blood on him from the devastating wound. 

We stepped back. Taking one last moment before he did it, Oberon raised his hand and magical flames shot from his palm. We watched for a while before the magic ended and we were left with nothing but a line of stones surrounding where he'd been. I had taken his jacket and rapier beforehand, and stuck them where his body was only moments earlier. 

We walked back to town and entered the inn, though I did not sleep during the night. 

Our journey continued, but I became more reckless and unpredictable. Any battles we found ourselves in left me bruised and beaten, but I didn't care. I know we had a mission to continue on, but nothing mattered. I kept finding myself looking around for Ronidon. I'd think of just the right thing to say, but then I'd remember. The others slowly fell back into their own dynamics, but they kept their distance from me. I think they just didn't know what to say. 

Miki continued to try and comfort me, and I even managed to apologize for being mean to her, but the hurt was still too much. I could tell she was doing her best though. She talked to me more than the others, and tried to get me to spar with her like we used to. But nothing helped. I felt like I lost a part of myself. 

Sleep had barely been coming, and my actions in battle were dangerous to my own well-being. Our wounds from the fight we lost Ronidon in had healed, but I continued gaining more with every previous injury that was tended to. Eventually Oberon couldn't risk spending all of his magic for me.

They kept trying to include me, but I'd lost all interest in our original journey. It just didn't seem worth it anymore. The evenings I actually slept were still filled with nightmares. Maybe if I had done something different he'd still be here. He was always out of reach in my dreams and I often woke up screaming. 

I carried his belongings with me. Not that he ever kept much, but it didn't feel right to leave them. Sometimes I thought about returning to our home with Grandma, but how could I possibly show my face to her without Ronidon beside me? To give her the news that I'd let him fall in battle? No, I couldn't go back. Not without him. I didn't know much about researching magic, but I figured that there must be a way to bring someone back even without their body. The world was old and full of mystery, I was convinced that some sort of power could help me. 

One night, as we were camping as I was keeping watch, I made the decision. Traveling with the others wasn't going to help me complete my goal. They'd just try to tell me otherwise anyway. I woke Neera up for her shift and started walking away from her and the others.

"Where are you off to, Kovarr?" She asked with curiosity and concern. 

"Just on a walk. I'm restless." I replied, not giving her much to go on. 

I think her gaze followed me, but I didn't care. 

I made my way across the hills and watched as the sun rose. I was exhausted, but I was getting fairly used to running on little sleep. Gripping my sword, I walked down and followed the nearest path I saw. Glancing back, a part of me felt bad without saying goodbye, but I knew they'd get over it. They had obviously moved on from Ronidon, so why would my leaving be any different?


	3. Chapter 3

It took a few days before I really got anywhere. Thankfully I had gathered a fair amount of coin from traveling with the group. I had given what Ronidon had carried to the rest of the party. I hadn't needed it, and it's probably what he would've wanted. I reached a large city, but had absolutely no idea where I was or which direction I'd been going.

I'm sure I looked terrible. People avoided me as I walked by. They probably weren't used to seeing a cat as tall as a human. Roni and I had always wondered about our people. It seemed like other Catfolk were hard to find. Where had we come from and how did we end up in that forest as kids? Those questions were what first led us to leave home...

It wasn't intentional that we met up with the others and got sidetracked with quests about cults and what not. It all just kinda happened. And it was what got Ronidon killed. Miki and the rest could take care of themselves without me. I was sure that they'd be fine. 

I found myself in a tavern after too long. I'd never traveled by myself and wasn't exactly sure how these places worked. Roni usually took care of it. I'm not the best at socializing and don't always say the right thing. I guess I hesitated when I ordered food and the tavern-keep assumed I couldn't speak Common very well. The food they brought me wasn't anything I recognized but I didn't want to press my luck. 

As I ate, I tried to go over my mission. Who could help me bring Roni back? I had no idea where to start. It had seemed like Oberon had known something about it and just didn't want to tell me. He grew up in a church, so maybe that was a common thing to learn about there? 

Leaving coin for the meal, I headed back out in search of the nearest place of worship. Eventually I found something that looked about right. Stepping inside, it didn't seem all that big and there were only a few people inside. A statue of some god I'd never heard of was in the back of the building, and there were colors in the glass windows around it. 

Spotting someone that looked official, I walked over and asked for their help. They seemed eager to do what they could, but immediately changed their demeanor once I mentioned what I was trying to do. They refused to let me speak and called a guard to move me out of the church. 

Back on the streets, I looked around. I wasn't really sure what I did. If places had the power to bring loved ones back, they'd use it, right? Maybe this particular god wasn't powerful enough to give the people here that kind of magic. 

I traveled from town to town after that. I tried any place that looked like it was meant to serve any sort of deity, but I never had much luck. In-between those trips, I started researching what I could. To be honest, I hate books. They've always bored me to tears. But I made myself focus for any information I could get. I still wasn't getting much sleep these days, which made reading even harder.

Roni's voice still haunted me. I could hear him in the wind, or I'd see his shape in the shadows around me. I knew he was gone. I had seen his body burn. But there was always the hope that I'd turn around and he'd be there waiting for me. 

My training suffered and my coin was dwindling. I could defend myself from bandits and monsters well enough, but it was exhausting to constantly travel on your own. I never had the energy to exercise like I used to, and I wasn't eating or sleeping much. My lack of progress was getting to me. I needed to find something that would at least put me in the right direction. 

Wandering through some random town, I passed down an alleyway. I didn't know where I was and I didn't particularly care. I saw a shadow move from the corner of my eye. 

"Have you decided I've gone through enough?" I called out. Part of me knew that he was dead, but the hallucinations had grown in strength lately. Townsfolk often gave me strange looks when it seemed like I was talking to myself. But I knew he could hear me. Wherever he was, he must've seen what lengths I was going to in order to get him back. Maybe he'd finally seen enough and was showing himself. 

I looked around but no one was there. "I know you're out there!" I yelled. "If I can't bring you here, are you going to take me to you?" There was no reply. I didn't want to die, but if that was the only way I could see my brother again, then I wouldn't fight it. 

There was only silence around me. I screamed in frustration and fell to my knees. Looking back up, I saw a figure walk towards me. Roni? Was it really him? My vision went dark and I remembered nothing else from that night.


	4. Chapter 4

The first thing I noticed was the unbearable pain in my head. I slowly opened my eyes, as any sort of movement seemed to make it hurt even more. There wasn't much light around me. Wherever I was, it seemed different from the alley I'd been in. It was some sort of field, but the grass around me was dead and black. 

I clutched my head. It felt like it could split open at any moment from the pain. My vision was blurry, but I tried to look around and find out more about where I was. 

"WELCOME, HERO."

I heard the voice, but it wasn't like it was speaking out loud. More like it was spoken right into my mind. A chill went up my spine. The air around me felt cold, and the pain in my head grew worse. I couldn't help but scream. What was happening? Where was I? 

"YOU SEEK POWER. I CAN GRANT YOU WHAT YOU DESIRE." 

With every word, the headache became more excruciating. I felt weak, as if I could pass out at any moment. 

"Who are you?" I barely managed to say aloud. 

"YOU CANNOT BEGIN TO COMPREHEND ME. I AM IN NEED OF A VESSEL, AND YOU WILL SUFFICE." 

The following words were too much. I closed my eyes and felt as though my life would leave me. 

Suddenly, the air around me felt lighter. The pounding in my head disappeared, and I carefully opened my eyes. I was laying on the ground in the same alleyway I had been in before. Had I been dreaming? Standing up and dusting myself off, I glanced around. Whatever had happened must have been some sort of nightmare. Nothing more to it. I still felt the lingering effects of the previous headache, but surely that was just from the lack of food and proper sleep. I left the town behind me and continued traveling. 

Any time I tried to rest, the voice returned. I quickly became used to its presence. My dreams became only made up of the dark field. Between the terrifying entity following me and my decreasing health, I also began to see visions of Ronidon more often. He never talked, just stood there. His image was somewhat see-through. Just a ghost here to haunt me and remind me that I'd failed him.

"I'm trying, brother. I'll bring you back." I told him once. There was never a reaction though, just a sad look in his eyes. 

The voice began to tell me things. Instructions of how to perform magic I never had encountered before. It started with dead plants. I would touch them and soon they were brought back to life. Using the power gave me chills, but I didn't think anything of it. My body was growing numb to physical sensations. 

I walked and walked. I never knew where I was going. Anywhere I could practice my new skills without being bothered. If I passed through towns, I never stayed long. I had stopped caring about the stares I'd get, but at times the people must've seemed threatened. Guards would chase me away.

The voice never seemed to answer any questions I asked it. Any responses it gave me were vague and went back to the topic of training me. It continued to mention something about a vessel, but I wasn't terribly concerned. It was giving me the powers I'd sought after. The consequences could be dealt with once I had my brother back. 

After a particularly irritable townsguard shoved me away from a tavern, I raised my paw to block his attack. To my surprise, a sickly green light flowed through me and onto the man. Within seconds, his body began to rot. His flesh started to decay and he cried out in agony. Skin and muscle melted from his bones and he fell to the ground. I watched him die in horror. Civilians around us had seen the event. Some screamed, some charged at me. I ran away as fast as I could. What... What had I done? 

Finding shelter outside of the city, I stopped and stared at my paws. Was this a part of the powers I'd been given. 

"What is this? What have you done to me?" I shouted to the sky. I waited for a reply, but there was none. Turning around, I saw him. His ghost was there, staring at me. His expression never changed these days. "I'm doing this for you, Roni!" I cried, feeling tears form in my eyes. 

The days turned into weeks. Seasons passed. As much as I tried to ignore the voice and it's commands, nothing worked. It would be angry with me if I let time pass without perfecting my craft. I would wake up covered in wounds. Eventually I stopped tending to them. 

I couldn't keep fighting it. I was exhausted and the voice was relentless. Moving on from plants, I found myself practicing on dead animals. Reanimating them proved difficult. It was terrifying to see a slain creature's body begin to move once more. Thankfully they were easily killed again.


	5. Chapter 5

"Have I not given you enough?" I whispered into the air once.

The voice still had not given me any information as to who it was or what it wanted from me. All it continued doing was promising me power. I knew this magic was wrong. It was dark and not something that should exist. But I couldn't fight the voice anymore. It was as if my energy was lost unless I was using my new powers. I had accidentally killed multiple times by this point. I tried to revive them, but it never worked right. They always reformed as monsters that haunted any dreams I ever managed to have.

I was cursed. I realized it, but I was too far gone to do anything about it. The hope of getting Ronidon back was all that kept me going. I would've taken my own life if not for the thought of seeing him again. Visions of him still followed me. Those same unblinking eyes watching me as I struggled day after day. 

My sense of direction became skewed. It never knew where I was or which way I was headed. I became numb as I continued wandering. Not even pain managed to register to me. The only things that remained were the voice commanding me onward and the ghost of Ronidon keeping its distance. 

I could feel myself slipping further into whatever dark forces I'd given myself too. I was forced to continue practicing these dangerous powers I'd been given. Undead monsters continued to be created from my actions. I knew it was wrong and that innocent people could be hurt if I didn't kill them immediately after raising them. As if I wasn't exhausted enough, I was constantly fighting against these monsters as my magic grew stronger. There was no way out for me. Something told me that the voice inside my head wouldn't just let me die after it had put so much time into me. 

"Please just let me see my brother," I begged, fighting to stay awake one night.

To my surprise, it agreed. 

I jumped up, immediately full of energy. If there was any hope of seeing Roni, I couldn't let my own fatigue get in the way. The voice gave me orders, and I could only assume that this was the information I needed. I followed the words and movements exactly, tracing symbols into the dirt below me. Was this really it? Could I finally bring him back? Regardless of what had happened to me, I knew that we could tackle it together. He was always so smart, he'd know how to save me from the darkness I'd put upon myself.

As soon as the magic was completed, a thick fog rose from the dirt and engulfed me. I started to panic. I couldn't breathe or see anything around me. As I closed my eyes, I felt something hold my shoulders. Hands? No... not quite. Paws! Paws like mine! I opened my eyes and looked up to see the ghostly image of Ronidon. The smoke surrounded us and for a moment it looked like he was himself again. Flesh and blood and here, living. Tears fell from my eyes. I reached forward to embrace him and everything went black. 

I remember seeing my eyes open again. I tried to look around but I couldn't get any part of my body to move. Panicking again, I yelled inside of my own head. I'd followed the directions perfectly... what had happened? From the field of vision I was granted, I couldn't see Ronidon anywhere. Had the spell worked? A voice spoke from my mouth, but it was no sound I had ever made before. 

"YOU HAVE DONE WELL." 

It was the voice. It was speaking through me.

"I... This isn't what I wanted! Where is Ronidon?" I demanded. My head was made to look down and at my feet was far more disturbing than I could've ever imagined. 

It was a tangled mess of flesh and fur. Bones stuck out from unnatural joints and pierced through the creature's own skin. A black liquid covered the horrifying thing. It turned what was assumed to be its head toward me, and even if I had control of my body, I wouldn't have been able to move. It... It had his eyes. 

I'd done this... I'd done this to him. This couldn't be it. Everything I'd worked for was to bring him back to life. His body had been burned right? It couldn't be him! 

In a flash, the monster was gone. The only thing that remained was the pool of liquid it left and the image of it in my brain. 

"YOU HAVE SERVED ME WELL. THE RITUAL IS COMPLETE. YOU BELONG TO ME NOW." 

I wanted to scream. To cry and fight and take control of myself again. But I was trapped. My body was no longer mine and I couldn't do anything about it. I'd tried so hard and failed.


	6. Chapter 6

Days turned into months. Seasons changed, but I couldn't feel the wind in my fur or sun on my face. I stayed in my own mind, forced to watch my body continue without me. The entity that had stolen everything from me never tired. It ran my body ragged, but somehow fueled it to keep going. My coat had long since lost its white shine. The voice controlling me seemed unfazed by the blood and dirt my fur carried. Injuries were unnoticed as well.

I was kept alive for reasons I didn't know. The voice needed my body and wasn't about to let it's new vessel go so easily. As we traveled, it controlled me into using the powers it had originally given me. The dead were raised wherever we went. Whether they had been person or animal, it didn't seem to matter. It was gruesome to watch as the undead creatures attacked nearby towns. They were filled with only the desire to kill. 

I tried to fight against it at first. I thought that maybe eventually I'd catch the voice off guard. It never tired though and I couldn't handle it anymore. After enough time had passed without any success, I gave up. I stopped watching the things it would have my body do, and I didn't even talk to it anymore. I just wanted my body to be killed. Maybe then I'd finally be free of this torture. 

My thoughts were often of Ronidon. I'd seen him so clearly that day, but he'd been gone ever since. I thought of Grandma, and of the group of travelers Roni and I had been with. Oberon, Neera, and Miki. I just wished that I could apologize to them. I should never have left. Grief had consumed me, but the path I'd gone down had been fully my mistake. 

I lost track of how many days had passed. How old was I now? How long had it been since Roni had died? I couldn't recall. 

The voice controlling me continued raising its army of the undead. It sought destruction and chaos. I became a mighty foe, and adventurers often attempted to kill me. I wished that they could. From inside my mind, I begged for them to be strong enough to defeat the monster I'd become. But none ever succeeded. Even worse, they were resurrected afterwards and added to the collection of horrifying soldiers.

A challenger approached one day. It seemed that they had acquaintances, though they stayed at a distance. Typical of magic-casters. I tried not to let myself be too interested in this group. Surely they would fall like all the others had. It took a lot to keep my attention these days, memories of my previous life were usually all I can stand to think about. 

I heard voices and noticed as my body was attacked. That itself wasn't anything unusual, but then I heard a familiar sound. Was that... a howl? 

Focusing on what my eyes were seeing, I was left shocked. It was Miki. The same half-orc kid I had walked away from. She was older now, but I knew it was her. No one else ever had that look in her eyes like she did. And that howl, had she learned more about her own powers? When I had left we had only recently discovered that she was a werewolf. How long had it been since then? Years at least from how different she looked. 

I saw Oberon and Neera approach from behind her. They were older too, but still alive and still traveling with Miki. "Good," I thought to myself. "I'm glad you guys stayed together." 

The fight went on. I was outnumbered and the corpse soldiers were easily defeated by my friends. I wanted to let them know I was still here. My body must've at least been recognizable, but the voice hadn't responded to my name or anything they said to me. They pleaded with me that it didn't have to be like this. I knew they didn't really want to kill me. But, I was no longer me, just a threat they needed to destroy before I brought more suffering to the world. 

Watching as Miki landed hit after hit with her broadsword, I pleaded for her to finish me off. To land the killing blow and put me to rest. My muscles were at their limits, and my injuries had become too great. Between the sword slashes, I was blasted with various spells from Oberon and Neera. I applauded them all for being so relentless. A monster like me couldn't be allowed to exist any longer. 

The killing strike felt like it had happened in half-speed. Miki had raised her sword at just the right moment and stabbed into my chest. With my previous wounds and the voice's magic depleted, I sensed that this was it. Blood poured from the wound and from my mouth. As Miki pushed further, I felt the dark energy begin to leave me. The voice had lost its vessel. 

It had been far too long since controlling my body to react in any way. That was, except for my eyes. As soon as I realized that I could move them again, I met my gaze to the young half-orc's. She was filled with the rage of battle, but I could see the sadness behind her blue eyes. I knew I couldn't express myself much. I just wanted her to know that it was okay. She had done the right thing. I felt my vision blur as the life drained from me. As I closed my eyes, I felt myself fall to the ground. Darkness took me. 

"Kovarr." A voice called out. 

It repeated itself again, louder this time. 

I recognized it. But I couldn't place it. 

"Just what am I going to do with you?" 

As I opened my eyes, a dark figure came into focus. Wait... It couldn't be. 

Ronidon? 

It was him. But not how he was when he'd died. He was younger, a child again. He had his paw reached out towards me. Looking down, I saw that my body had changed too. I was small and hadn't reached adulthood either. Taking his paw, I stood up.

"Were you going to sleep the whole time?" He asked, in a voice I hadn't heard the tone of in quite some time. 

"I..." My voice was higher pitched too. It was like time had gone backwards. How was it that we were kids again? 

"I found some people here that you really have to meet. They said that they've really missed us." 

I was confused. Who was he talking about? He smiled at me, and pointed in front of us. Two other people stood there in the distance. They were Catfolk, but I didn't know these strangers. Roni and I had never directly spoken to another person of our race before. 

Ronidon stared back at me and held my paw. "Kovarr, it's our mother and father. They're here to take us home."


End file.
